Christmas Timesharing- Daughter with Ex this year
Hello! This is the first year that I will not be with my daughter, Lexi, on Christmas and I have very mixed emotions. 
She will be with her father this Christmas, and will have a wonderful time, but we will miss her dearly and it won’t be the same without her. I have been very emotional the past couple of days as we get plans in order, thinking about her not being here from December 17 to 27.
Lexi’s father lives in Kentucky and we live in Florida, so when she visits him, he flies down to Florida, I bring her to the airport, and he flies back to Kentucky with her. He works for an airline company as a co-pilot, so he flies for free. Lexi doesn’t go up to visit him very often, as something or another always ends up happening… he’s sick, she’s sick, or he can’t get a flight down (not too sure if that is a true story, but who am I to know).
I am frustrated with Lexi going to Kentucky to see her father for Christmas due to the fact that he has canceled his visit with her several times throughout the year due to the reasons listed above. Why should he get to have Lexi for Christmas when he has canceled his visits with her so many other times? I have spent the majority of time with Lexi, taken care of her each and every single time she has been sick, and been there for all major events. It just doesn’t seem fair that she goes to Kentucky for Christmas.
Now, on the other hand, I have to remember that Lexi’s father does call and check on her, sends child support money (we had a very rough start with that though!), and does make his best effort to see Lexi. I honestly think that him not seeing her as often as she does is not something he means to happen. He doesn’t always think logically, and we are not yet to the point in our parenting relationship where I can give him suggestions without him getting upset and vice versa.
Brent is Lexi’s father’s biggest defender. He puts himself in her dad’s place and how he would feel. Brent is the one person who has me think with facts and not with my heart in the whole situation with Lexi and her father. Everyone else just thinks with their hearts, which is a totally normal thing to do, and agrees that she should be home for Christmas with us this year, as she always is.
When Brent steps in and evaluates the situation about Christmas, I start thinking that yes, Lexi needs to see her father for Christmas. He has a tree full of toys for her and even though she does not see him very often (every other month for about 8-10 days is nothing!) she would be upset when she got older if I did not let her see him on Christmas. Her father has tried very hard lately to establish a better relationship with her (ie.. he is moving to Florida in February to be closer) and I do not want to feel as if I am sabotaging all that he has done. I want to work together with him to have her grow up knowing that she is loved by all of her family. It has been very hard to come to that conclusion, and I am still working on it mentally, but Lexi will have 2 wonderful Christmases and I need to remember that.
Christmas day will be different, but at the same time my other daughter will be home and we will make it a wonderful Christmas for her. Arianna will miss Lexi and we don’t even know how she will feel come Christmas morning when she doesn’t get to celebrate with her sister. We will go about with Christmas plans as usual, only give Arianna less gifts to open from us on Christmas morning. When Lexi gets home from visiting her father, we will all celebrate our own little Christmas as our family of 4, and we will be so very blessed that we are together again.
Brent has told me time and time again that it is not the day that matters, but the meaning behind Christmas. Our family Christmas will be delayed, but it will be the best Christmas ever. Thank you Brent for helping me through this holiday season with my ups and downs and for being the best (step) father a child could ever ask for.
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